Stan gets a new dog, Sparky, which he finds out is gay. This troubles Stan, who has to concentrate on quarterbacking the South Park Elementary football team against Middle Park. Stan could be key in beating the 72 point spread against them. Sparky, after being hurt by Stan's feelings about his lifestyle, runs away and meets Big Gay Al. Stan, distraught by Sparky's disappearance, sets out to find him as Jimbo and Ned attempt to sabotage the football game against a rival elementary school. The two fail, and South Park loses 73-6.
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