The town bans fireworks and must come up with an alternative for their Fourth of July celebration. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison loses Mr. Hat to Brett Favre and Cartman struggles with swimming lessons.
In this clip show episode, Ms. Crabtree becomes a famous stand-up comedian while the South Park kids reminisce on all their adventures while stuck on a bus on the edge of a cliff.
The boys get back at Jimbo and Ned for telling a false story about being in the Vietnam War. Meanwhile, a producer tries to re-invent Jesus and Pals to save it from low ratings.
With Pip as their star player, the South Park dodge ball team is off to the championships. Back in town, the local citizens declare a "Conjoined Twin Myslexia Awareness Week" in a misguided attempt to help the school nurse deal with a strange medical disorder.
After a mishap in the classroom during his lesson on the evils of drugs and alcohol, Mr. Mackey, the school counselor, is fired. In an act of desperation, he turns to drugs and alcohol. Meanwhile, it's time for Ike's bris and, when Kyle and the boys find out what it means to be circumcised, they try to save Ike from that fate.
A series of heinous crimes involving chickens leads to a startling revelation - Officer Barbrady cannot read! When Barbrady resigns and anarchy ensues, the boys pitch in to help. Cartman brings his own brand of law to the streets of South Park.